Friday, August 30, 2013

Cheap shots: Sometimes a cigar is only a cigar, sometimes it's not

Robert Dudley dancing the lavolta with Queen Elizabeth I. Possibly by Marcus Gheeraerts, ca. 1580. Wikipedia.

Armed and dangerous:
A state senator who is advocating for arming teachers in the aftermath of the school shooting in Newtown, Connecticut, accidentally shot a teacher with a rubber bullet during a training course, the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette reports. [jump]
Arkansas Sen. Jeremy Hutchinson (R) recently participated in “active shooter” training and mistakenly shot a teacher who was confronting a so-called bad guy. The experience gave Hutchinson “some pause” but failed to shake his confidence in the plan. (ThinkProgress)
Certainly makes you think twice; after all, if the teacher had been armed she could have stopped him. Don't we have a right to defend ourselves against incompetent Republicans?

Rockin' Jim DeMint!
Rocking the chairs. I guess.

In other news from the realm of the DeMinted, Jedi knight Steve Scalise has banished the Heritage Foundation from meetings of the Republican Study Committee, apparently in retaliation for the foundation's extremely unhelpful agita over the farm bill last month.

The National Journal's richly reported account of the tiff does not have much to say about a possible role for John Boehner, but I'm getting flashes of His Orangitude quietly making an attempt to take control of the caucus he supposedly leads but is normally tossed around by like the similarly colored Elizabeth I doing the lavolta with the Earl of Leicester. This could be good news (no snark) for the US economy, but I'm not counting on it. Which Jedi knight would he be?

Did Jimmy Savile fancy manicures?
Enjoys being a guy:

Steve "Stud" Lonegan (Caveman-NJ) is anxious to distinguish himself from Cory Booker in the race for the late Frank Lautenberg's Senate seat:
"I don't like going out in the middle of the night, or any time of the day, for a manicure and pedicure. It was described as his particular fetish," Lonegan added. "I have a more particular fetish. I like a good scotch and a cigar. That's my fetish, but we'll just compare the two." (CBS)
I would take the manicure thing as proof positive that Booker identifies sexually as a politician, or, in the argot, "baby-kisser". No closeted gay man would admit to midnight manicures, but a politician might. Think of Rudy Giuliani, with his lisp and his authentic love for opera (which I share) and his weird penchant for wearing drag. If he were gay he obviously would have concealed these things.

Lonegan, on the other hand, makes me wonder. Being a Republican and fixated on homosexuality is plainly suspicious to start with, as we've come to learn over the last few years. And then isn't it unusual to refer to a cigar as a "fetish"? What exactly do you do with that cigar, sir?

Hmm, let me see... bloody Iranian civil war, Israel desperate to save Iranian lives, ayatollahs zap Tehran suburbs with massive chemical weapons attack... No, don't believe I remember that. I do recall diabolical Iranian plot to cure cancer, Israeli frustration, sending MEK thugs to gun down Iranian scientists in the street didn't seem to be stopping it. Would that be what you had in mind?
Persian War, via.

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