Updated 7/13/2014
So they say whenever Netanyahu gets a divorce, he gets together with the wife and the lawyers and says, "Listen, let's talk without preconditions; I'm the most ethical man in Israel, I'm prepared to make incredible concessions if you negotiate in good faith."
"Okay," says the wife, "no preconditions. So what's your position?"
"Well, I get to keep all the money, and all the houses, and all the stuff."
"What? are you crazy?"
"In the first place, it's my money; and then I have to have all the houses, so I have somewhere to keep the stuff."
"And how come you have to have the stuff?"
"It's a principle of mine."
"And that's not a precondition?"
"Of course not, it's not the same thing at all. You know me, I'm a man of principle and I would never impose preconditions."
"But seriously, if you get everything, what are these incredible concessions you're prepared to make?"
"Are you kidding? We get a divorce, I was going to let you move out and fuck other men!"
I really meant to try to drop the thugs of Likud as a subject for a while, but then I caught this from yesterday's Times: [jump]
In other news, the proposals of the Trajtenberg Committee, convened to offer some solutions to the problems highlighted by the protests in Israel last summer which some likened to an "Israeli spring" joining other pro-democracy movements in the Middle East, continue to develop.
The affordable housing plans got a little sidetracked from their original goals when housing minister Ariel Atias decided to allocate housing on the basis of more for families with more children, meaning more for the ultra-Orthodox or Haredim who vote for the minister's Shas party; the committee's recommendations on relieving the terrible unemployment (the employment rate for Haredi men is 37%, for women 49%) underwent an odd sea change, in which all proposals relating to Haredim disappeared. Well, Haredi men can't do military service, or take nine-to-five jobs, it would distract them too much from their Torah study; and the women have to take care of the kids, who keep arriving. It's another guiding principle.
And Netanyahu seems to have agreed that there should be an election some day, but under the guiding principle that his party is supposed to win, because some (satirically-minded, I hope) leftists under Gil Kidron are planning to join Likud—hopefully 10,000 of them—in the hopes of taking over the primary (where turnout in Israel is apparently as pathetic as in the US, or even more—so crazy it just might work!).
So it's just guiding principles everywhere, as far as the eye can see!
Update:
This post of two and a half years ago has never stopped getting the occasional visit—not, I'm afraid, because of my Netanyahu joke; I still think it's the funniest thing ever but I have no evidence anybody else does. The traffic is basically from people googling the map of the gradual erosion of Palestinian territory. But overnight there was an odd little spike, largely driven by Belgian Facebookers, and I thought I should add a note to let the people know that the satirical takeover of Likud did not in fact succeed, and Gil Kidron is now busy pimping his book on the Israeli artificial insemination situation.
Coincidentally (?), Juan Cole has just reposted his very important 2010 discussion of the Vanishing Palestine map here.
So they say whenever Netanyahu gets a divorce, he gets together with the wife and the lawyers and says, "Listen, let's talk without preconditions; I'm the most ethical man in Israel, I'm prepared to make incredible concessions if you negotiate in good faith."
"Okay," says the wife, "no preconditions. So what's your position?"
"Well, I get to keep all the money, and all the houses, and all the stuff."
"What? are you crazy?"
"In the first place, it's my money; and then I have to have all the houses, so I have somewhere to keep the stuff."
"And how come you have to have the stuff?"
"It's a principle of mine."
"And that's not a precondition?"
"Of course not, it's not the same thing at all. You know me, I'm a man of principle and I would never impose preconditions."
"But seriously, if you get everything, what are these incredible concessions you're prepared to make?"
"Are you kidding? We get a divorce, I was going to let you move out and fuck other men!"
I really meant to try to drop the thugs of Likud as a subject for a while, but then I caught this from yesterday's Times: [jump]
Israeli negotiators told their Palestinian counterparts this week that their guiding principle for drawing the borders of a future two-state solution would be for existing settlement blocks to become part of Israel, an approach that the Palestinians rejected as unacceptable.This is a "guiding principle"? So what's on the table? Are they offering to declare that contrary to popular opinion Palestinians actually exist? I doubt it, because then they could have "existential questions" too; after all, if you think the 1967 borders are indefensible for Israel, what do you think about a West Bank map that's virtually nothing but borders, a lacework of paths between islands woven around the settlement walls?
 | |
| The evolution of the shape of Palestine, found here. Gaza is of course now back to its 1967 size, while the West Bank is further dwindled. |
The affordable housing plans got a little sidetracked from their original goals when housing minister Ariel Atias decided to allocate housing on the basis of more for families with more children, meaning more for the ultra-Orthodox or Haredim who vote for the minister's Shas party; the committee's recommendations on relieving the terrible unemployment (the employment rate for Haredi men is 37%, for women 49%) underwent an odd sea change, in which all proposals relating to Haredim disappeared. Well, Haredi men can't do military service, or take nine-to-five jobs, it would distract them too much from their Torah study; and the women have to take care of the kids, who keep arriving. It's another guiding principle.
And Netanyahu seems to have agreed that there should be an election some day, but under the guiding principle that his party is supposed to win, because some (satirically-minded, I hope) leftists under Gil Kidron are planning to join Likud—hopefully 10,000 of them—in the hopes of taking over the primary (where turnout in Israel is apparently as pathetic as in the US, or even more—so crazy it just might work!).
So it's just guiding principles everywhere, as far as the eye can see!
Update:
This post of two and a half years ago has never stopped getting the occasional visit—not, I'm afraid, because of my Netanyahu joke; I still think it's the funniest thing ever but I have no evidence anybody else does. The traffic is basically from people googling the map of the gradual erosion of Palestinian territory. But overnight there was an odd little spike, largely driven by Belgian Facebookers, and I thought I should add a note to let the people know that the satirical takeover of Likud did not in fact succeed, and Gil Kidron is now busy pimping his book on the Israeli artificial insemination situation.
Coincidentally (?), Juan Cole has just reposted his very important 2010 discussion of the Vanishing Palestine map here.
No comments:
Post a Comment