Monday, December 12, 2011

Not only that, but then it would be true

Mitt Romney's "Look first upon this picture, then on this" tirade--
Newt Gingrich comes from the world where politicians are paid millions after they retire to influence their friends in Washington. Mitt Romney comes from the private sector, where the economy is built by hard work and entrepreneurial drive.
The first sentence is fine, but for classical parallel structure, the second one needs revision to something like, "Mitt Romney comes from the world where businessmen pay millions after they retire to become politicians under the influence of--their friends in Washington."

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