Monday, December 19, 2011

Scots, wha hae wi' Reagan bled,

Scots*, wham Newt has aften led,
Welcome to your gory bed,
Or to Victorie!

Now's the day, and now's the hour;
See the front o' battle lour;
See approach Obama's power--
Chains and Slaverie!
*I wanted it to be Belgians, but it just didn't fit the meter.

Meanwhile back in Washington, it's getting hilarious:

Speaking Monday on Fox News, Rep. Phil Gingrey (R-Ga.) suggested contrary to reports that the Tea Party wing of the party is forcing Boehner’s hand, his colleagues are actually rallying to defend the Speaker of the House....
“We’re all coming back, that’s what everybody told Speaker Boehner on the conference call Saturday when we heard about this fiasco of a two-month extension voted on by the Senate,” Gingrey said.
“Out of 75 responses, there may have been one person that thought it was OK that we would put the fight off until two months from now,” he continued. “Everybody else said, 'Look, this is a 'Braveheart' moment. You, Mr. Speaker, are our William Wallace. Let’s rush to the fight. Get us back to Washington, let’s get to our work and we’re doing that.' "
 The Speaker in Mad Max gear, from last November in the Fishington Cheesington Post. As far as I can learn nobody has ventured a version in 14th-century Scottish armor as yet, though it's only a matter of time.

Next up: The Speaker rushes onto the Floor pulling his gigantic claymore out of the famous sword belt of human skin (the skin of the Earl of Surrey's aide Hugh de Cressingham, taken by the Scots at the Battle of Sterling Bridge), and screaming his battle cry (not "Freedom!" as in the movie, but "A Wallace! A Wallace!"), ready for any desperate measure!

Or maybe they pass a bill after all, with some absolutely disgusting-looking turd in the middle of it that makes us liberals scream like Wallace when Obama signs it but that turns out not to do anything at all. There's no pipeline from Alberta, and we can all go home and get a good night's sleep--a little like the last time we got this upset. But we will all know that the man with the orange glow may be a talker, but he ain't no Speaker.

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