Literary Corner Bonus: Soup for my Family

Heaving once—heaving twice—
heaving chicken soup with rice!
Via.

Big Bags of Soup

by Donald J. Trump

In cities across the nation,
we’ve also seen police officers
assaulted with bricks, rocks, bats,
Molotov cocktails, frozen bottles of water.
Somebody said last night, one of the protesters —
I saw it — he said, “It’s only water.
How can water hurt you?” Yeah, they
don’t say it’s frozen, in a bottle
the size of a football. And they
throw it at the police. It’s unbelievable.

“It’s water.” And then they have cans
of soup. Soup. And they throw the
cans of soup. That’s better than a brick
because you can’t throw a brick; it’s too
heavy. But a can of soup, you can really put
some power into that, right? And then, when
they get caught, they say, “No, this is soup
for my family.” They’re so innocent. “This is
soup for my family.” It’s incredible. And you
have people coming over with bags of soup —
big bags of soup. And they lay it on the ground,
and the anarchists take it and they start
throwing it at our cops, at our police.
And if it hits you, that’s worse than a brick
because that’s got force. It’s the perfect size.
It’s, like, made perfect. And when they get caught,
they say, “No, this is just soup for my family.”

And then the media says, “This is just soup.
These people are very, very innocent. They’re
innocent people. These are just protesters.
Isn’t it wonderful to allow protesting?” No,
there’s — and, by the way, the media knows it
better than we do. They know what’s going on.
I don’t know what’s wrong with them. They’re doing
our country a tremendous disservice — I’ll say that.

H/t Christopher Ingraham.