Literary Corner: Powers That You Wouldn't Believe

Kurt Schwitters, Merzbild Kijkduin, 1923, from Museo Nacional Thyssen-Bornemisza, Madrid.

(Text via Aaron Rupar from this morning's White House lawn apparition.)

A Thing Called Article 2

by Donald J. Trump

Some day you ought to read
a thing called Article 2. 

Read Article 2.
Which gives
the president powers
that you wouldn't believe. 

But I
don't even have to rely
on Article 2.
There was no crime.

This is extraordinarily precious as a document of how he works; he's heard somebody mentioning the Article 2 powers of the presidency, maybe some legal hack telling him (wrongly) that he doesn't have to turn over his tax returns, and he has no idea what it is, of course—"Article 2?"—but he doesn't want to let on, by asking some dumb-sounding question. At the same time it sounds magical—"My Article 2 powers!"—and thrilling, and he's pretty sure most ordinary people, including all those damned journalists on the lawn, don't know any more about it than he does, so he can't resist bringing it up.

And then pulls back, as much as to say, "Don't worry, I would only use my omnipotence if I was in real danger." As long as we don't start talking about how guilty he is, he'll spare us.