The Trump Hath Spoken

Image via Liberaland.

O ye foolish pandits decrying the Trumpster, and saying in your hearts that he is no conservative but running verily to the left of the smoldering, though not quite burning Bush! For hath he not sworn an oath that the carried interest deduction shall be abolished, and leave the hedge fund guys bereft?

Yet lo! his tax proposals have leapt to our eyes like the gazelle, and shown themselves, and been weighed and measured, and they do indeed apply only to the hedge fund guys, many of whom vote Democrat for reasons best known to themselves, and not to the private equity partnerships where Bishop Romney made his pile even unto the fourth and fifth generations, which puts them actually to the right of the Bush proposals, and that's not all. For those whose wealth is like unto that of Bishop Romney, in that his coin cannot be weighed nor his houses counted, will also see their top marginal income tax rate descend from 39.6% to 25%, which is verily a fuck of a lot, and the capital gains assessment from 23.8% to 20% percent, even on their real property and their sales of stock, and while married couples making $50K or less will pay no income tax, yet most of them pay no income tax already, and their savings under the plan will be as dust under the wheels of the Juggernaut or Trumpmobile! And the corporate and noncorporate business tax shall drop from 35% to 15%!

And the Trumpster spake, saying,

“In other words, it’s going to cost me a fortune," Trump, a billionaire, said,

which is hard to figure, for he is no hedge fund guy indeed, but a person of income, and property, and many forms of real capital, who will make out under these measures like the thief in the night or the highwayman. And nobody's trying to figure out what happens to the federal government under this scenario, but its revenues shall be reduced, and shrunken, and made as the revenues of the bathtub ducky, till it be so little it might be laid in the bathtub and there smothered and killed, wherefore the Prophet Grover hath looked on the plan and said that it was good.

So you can all shut up about how Trump is a liberal, Brooksy, if you don't mind. Although, to be fair, when Ed Kilgore refers to

the fundamentally immoral—and in Trump’s case, self-serving—elimination of federal inheritance taxes. 

how can he say such an unkind thing? Trump isn't doing that for himself, he's doing it for the children. The children that are looking forward to an estate of $10 million or more when the old man kicks off, I mean, because no other children would get anything out of it. Hey, come to think of it, could that be part of why he's running for president? So that his kids will refrain from murdering him? Because as long as he's alive there's a chance he'll get rid of the inheritance tax and his kids will be 40% richer when he dies.