Cheap shots: Pimp my (plane) ride

“Beyoncé is incredibly talented — gifted, in fact,” Huckabee wrote. “She has an exceptional set of pipes and can actually sing. She is a terrific dancer –— without the explicit moves best left for the privacy of her bedroom. Jay Z is a very shrewd businessman, but I wonder: Does it occur to him that he is arguably crossing the line from husband to pimp by exploiting his wife as a sex object?” (Via RollingOut)

Blurb:

In God, Guns, Grits and Gravy, Mike Huckabee asks, “Have I been taken to a different planet than the one on which I grew up?”

Hmm, I'd say it's not impossible. What quadrant are you from?

The New York Times bestselling author explores today’s fractious American culture, where divisions of class, race, politics, religion, gender, age, and other fault lines make polite conversation dicey, if not downright dangerous.

My grandma would have said polite conversation is the best way to deal with a situation like that. It's the impolite conversation that's dangerous. Like publicly lamenting the removal of the Confederate flag from over the South Carolina capitol  and suggesting that insurance coverage of birth control was strictly from Uncle Sugar for women who can't control their libidos. On your planet it was wiser to be rude?

As Huckabee notes, the differences of opinion between the “Bubble-villes” of the big power centers and the “Bubba-villes” where most people live are profound, provocative, and sometimes pretty funny. Where else but in Washington, D.C. could two presidential golf outings cost the American taxpayers $2.9 million in travel expenses?

It couldn't possibly happen in Washington; the president would have to fly somewhere else, like Palm Springs and Key Largo (link to Washington Times). He also did some work (the Palm Springs trip followed a visit to Fresno to discuss the California drought and included dinner with King Abdullah of Jordan), and some of the golf sounds like fundraising (a round with Larry Ellison). If Obama has spent more money on Air Force One than the $20 million President Bush is thought to have spent on his 77 brush-clearing vacations in Crawford, that may well be because Air Force One cost $56,800 to $68,000 per hour back then, and $180,000 to $210,000 now. That sounds like a lot of inflation! But isn't, according to Fox News:

Master Sgt. Jeff Capenos, with the 89th Airlift Wing, told FoxNews.com the figure reflects operating costs ranging from fuel to engine and aircraft maintenance. Asked why other public estimates, which typically did not exceed $100,000, were so much lower, he said: "They were probably inaccurate."

The National Taxpayers Union referred to the publication of the statistic as a "major coup for public disclosure." Brady said the high price tag, as compared with prior estimates, could be attributed not just to inflation, but a better and more specific accounting of the associated costs, as well as upgrades made to the aircraft. He urged the administration to be even more forthcoming with presidential travel costs.

So maybe Bush spent $60 million going back and forth to the ranch but his administration was understating the price by 60-odd percent. Certainly at least as much as Obama spends on golf, anyway, and that 's leaving aside those Africa junkets. Just sayin', Mike, though I know how dicey it is to make conversation around you.

Government bailouts, politician pig-outs, and popular culture provocations from Jay-Z and Beyoncé to Honey Boo-Boo to the Duck Dynasty’s Robertson family.

You guys certainly spend a lot of time watching television.

Gun rights, gay marriage, the decline of patriotism, and the mainstream media’s contempt for those who cherish a faith-based life.

That's why they canceled Honey Boo Boo while the Duck Dynasty goes on forever. I trust Huckabee will forgive the Mrs. Duck who had an abortion, but I don't know why he can't forgive Mr. and Mrs. Carter for being wildly successful entrepreneurs and getting married before they started breeding. (Beyoncé does faith, too, as it happens, even though the mainstream media utterly fail to show contempt for her, and I don't believe she lets anybody exploit her. Whereas Jay-Z's beliefs are thought to be somewhat heterodox.)

…these subjects and many more are covered with Mike Huckabee’s signature wit, insight, and honesty.

Is that signature honesty anything like this? Or maybe this, viewed from the right? Does it have anything to do with stuff like this?

The ethics commission fined Huckabee $1,000 for failing to report that he paid himself $14,000 from his 1992 U.S. Senate campaign and $43,000 from his 1994 lieutenant governor's campaign.

The latter payment — for the use of his eight-seat, twin-engine plane — was reported in a cryptic way that didn’t identify Huckabee and his wife as the owners of the plane.

Which sounds arguably quite a lot more convoluted than what that poor Delaware ex-Satanist Christine O'Donnell just got busted for. And he may arguably be up to it still:

Campaigns and political committees have paid the cost of Huckabee’s travel by cutting checks to one of two private companies linked to the politician-turned-TV-commentator: Blue Diamond Travel, a business registered at Huckabee’s Florida address, or the now-defunct MDH Group, an Arkansas entity named for the former governor’s initials.

On 14 occasions, Huckabee’s political action committee has also directly paid for private air travel expenses, reporting $30,000 in disbursements to MDH Group for charter travel to “PAC events” and a dozen additional outlays to chartered air travel companies.

I think I'll take a rain check on that book, governor. And the planet it came from. And watch who you're arguably calling a pimp, pimp.

Hey, it's not the believer part, it's the unapologetic part.