Showing posts with label Josh Hawley. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Josh Hawley. Show all posts

Thursday, October 1, 2026

Will the Real Dirtbag Please Stand Up?

Ted Cruz seemed genuinely crazy on the subject of the subpoenaed phone records. "Is it a crime to be a Republican?" Well, no, Senator, but I'd point out that the special counsel's mandate was "to conduct the ongoing investigation into whether any person or entity violated the law in connection with efforts to interfere with the lawful transfer of power following the 2020 presidential election or the certification ofthe Electoral College vote held on or about January 6, 2021," and I don't recall any Democrats or Independents doing any of that.

Like everybody else, I enjoyed the humiliation of Senator Eric Schmitt (R-MO) at the Senate Judiciary Committee hearing intended to destroy former special counsel Jack Smith, in which Schmitt had been entrusted with the matador's sword and cape—hard evidence that Smith had been at an Atlanta Hawks basketball game in Atlanta on the very day (February 3 2024) after Fulton County district attorney Fani Willis acknowledged her affair with the prosecutor in the Georgia racketeering case against Donald Trump over his attempts to steal the Georgia vote in the 2020 election, like Smith could only have been in Atlanta to do something or other conspiratorial with Willis involving his own prosecution, although it's hard to imagine what that could have been (it's one of those Glenn Beck theories of guilt by proximity, based on Schmitt's staff pasting photos of Smith and Willis next to each other on his big visual aid poster), which Smith would of course lie about, exposing himself to a perjury charge—

Except, as Senator Klobuchar figured out with her prosecutorial skills, the game Smith had actually attended was women's basketball in Baltimore, between the Maryland Terrapins and the Iowa  Hawkeyes (whose stunning point guard Caitlin Clark scored 38 points); he even turns up in the audience in a photo from the game.

My parents were from Minnesota and my dad taught us not only the Sky-U-Mah football fight song ("Minnesota, hats off to thee") but also "I don't give a damn for the whole state of Iowa, I'm from the Gopher State," so I appreciated Klobuchar's sharp-eyed awareness of the Lady Hawkeyes, which is what I expect from a midwestern senator. If there's anything shocking about the story, it's that the committee chairman, 93-year-old Chuckles Grassley, a wild booster of local sports and fervent advocate of Caitlin Clark even after her move to Indiana, didn't put a stop to Schmitt's stupidity, because he should have known in a bipartisan way. Schmitt is a real dirtbag, to use the language he wanted to apply to Smith, and Grassley's one too.

***

But speaking of perjury traps, Senator Cruz, please tell us, under oath, what you and former mayor Rudolph Giuliani talked about when he called you sometime in the early evening of January 6, 2021?

In fact I'm interested in pretty much everything you did that day, from when Proud Boys and Oath Keepers (saluted by Hawley with a raised fist as he arrived at the building for the Joint Session to certify the presidential election around 12:30) began breaching the Capitol, through Trump's 2:24 tweet

Wednesday, July 5, 2023

Fifth of July: Antidisestablishmentarians


State of the Stupid, 2023: 


You can build this strawman out of any old resentments and prejudices you have lying around the house or in the garage, without an expensive and time-consuming trip to the Hobby Lobby. 

The genius of Rubio's tweet is in his focusing his hostility on those who see the US as "built on stolen land" as if it wasn't obviously true that Europeans and their descendants had appropriated virtually every bit of North America from its indigenous inhabitants between landfall in Mexico in 1519 and the closing of the frontier in 1890. A gasbag like Ted Cruz would have insisted on adding something about African chattel slavery beginning 1619 to the sentence, but there's not an ounce of fat on Marco's argument: he heads straight for the single most indefensible lie you can tell about the history of the continent and tells you you're "nuts" if you try to argue with it.

As well as possibly "influential" (unlike, say, Senator Rubio), rich (in contrast to Senator Rick Scott), famous (as opposed to infamous like Senator Lindsey Graham), or holding a "fancy degree" (instead of a no-frills plain one like Josh Hawley's Yale J.D., 2006). 

Sunday, January 10, 2021

For the Record: Unite the Country

 

Not really sure it's sunk in for anybody else that Pence could be in a legitimately tetchy mood about this:

Thursday, December 31, 2020

For the Record: More Populism Hawley-Style

Buster Keaton in Steamboat Bill, Jr. (1928).


Sequel to my popular rant on the new most obnoxious member of the Senate (narrowly beating out perennial favorite Rand Paul, who's been looking a little fatigues):


Monday, November 30, 2020

For the Record: Populism, Hawley-Style

Buster Keaton in College, 1927.


Rant I couldn't make myself refrain from: