Saturday, December 23, 2017

For the Record: American Idolator

Image by Thor.

I made a contribution to the #IfTrumpWereSanta hashtag:
I want to pitch a new reality show, American Idolator, where the contestants all have to live for some months in a bubble under a crazed and capricious authority figure whose rages and terrors must be placated at all costs, and they all bad-mouth each other in anonymous interviews (on-camera silhouettes with disguised voices); each week somebody is voted out of the bubble as the subject of the most damaging leak. The hook for an episode is some incident where the Leader makes himself look like an idiot and all the contestants work to devise ways of helping him feel good about himself (like the early episode where he insists, against easily available evidence, that his poorly attended inaugural festivity is the largest inaugural festivity in history), etc. The last segment in each episode is a "cabinet meeting" in which the contestants go round the table vying for attention through extravagant flattery of the Leader, after which the Leader says "I'm not happy with" the preselected victim and they must pack up and go home. When they're down to the last two, the winner gets a Golden Calf or a big stone Ten Commandments or something.

And in some truly astonishing Scroogery via Jared Bernstein

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