On Senator Cruz Referencing Dr. Seuss During his Filibusterino Performance Against the Affordable Care Act

I am Bam.

Bam I am. [jump]

I do not like that Bam-I-am.

I do not like that Bam-I-am!

Do you like my Health Care Law? 

I do not like it, Oh Bam Aw.
I do not like your Health Care Law.

Would you like it in a chair? 

I would not like it anywhere.
I do not like your Health Care Law.
I do not like it, Oh Bam Aw.

Would you like it with a twist?
Or with a psychiatrist? 

I do not like it with a twist.
Nor with a psychiatrist.
I do not like it in a chair.
I do not like it anywhere.
I do not like it, Oh Bam Aw.
I do not like your Health Care Law.

Would you eat it with a fork?
Would you take it home as pork?

Not with a fork.
Not for pork.
Not with a twist.
Not in my fist.
I would not eat it, Oh Bam Aw.
I do not like your Health Care Law.

Would you, could you, in the bar?
Ready, Teddy? Here we are!

I would not, could not, in the bar.

You might like it if it's free.
You might like it. You will see.

I would not, could not if it's free.
It isn't right! It isn't me!

It would reduce the deficit. 

I spit on it! I spit on it!
Not if it's cheap! Not if it's free!
Out of the question in my socks!
Out of the question on the rocks!
Out of the question with a fork!
Out of the question home as pork!
I will not have it in a chair,
I will not have it anywhere,
I do not like it, Oh Bam Aw!

Just as a lark! Here in the park!
Would you, could you, for a lark? 

I would not like it for a lark. 

Would you, could you, for a vote? 

I would not do it for a vote!
I would not do it in my coat!
I would not do it for a lark!
I would not do it in the park!
Not in a hotel, not in a home,
Not in Istanbul or Rome!
I would not like it with a twist,
I don't want a psychiatrist,
I do not want it in a pinch,
I do not want it for one inch!

You do not like my Health Care Law?

I do not like it, Oh Bam Aw!

But what about poor Mrs. Crowne,
Who lives in an adjacent town?
Her knees are weak, her hip is bad,
She needs to bathe her senile dad.
She's suffering from inanition
And from a previous condition;
What's more, her daughter, twenty-five,
Is difficult to keep alive
Due to a chronic malady.
She needs a better policy.

I do not care for Mrs. Crowne,
I went to Harvard, she to Brown.
You think that I will start to weep
In sympathy with that old creep?
You think that I will be impressed
By some non-special interest?
Or if you cut the deficit
That I will somehow give a shit?
You do not know me, Oh Bam Aw!
I do not want it if it helps
To save your nasty mewling whelps.
I do not want it if it's cheap,
I do not want it if it's deep,
Not in my socks, not on the rocks,
Not with a fork, not as pork,
Not in the bar, not where we are,

Not if you hold your breath until you die and I just sit here laughing, hahaha motherfucker, because I'm smarter than you, dumbass liberal. Where did you go to school, anyway, fucking Columbia?

I do not like you, Oh Bam Aw,
So fuck your stupid Health Care Law.