A Senate Trial

To the tune of:




a Senate trial, with no witness—
a steaming pile of shit it is
I thought we would be saving our threatened nation
instead it looks like wasted anticipation

a Senate trial of impeaching
across the aisle they're not reaching
I haven't seen Republicans crack a smile
it's never been their style
this is a Senate trial

a Senate trial without judging
the whole defense is Matt Drudging
the prosecution can't seem to get attention
with all the parties dreaming of their convention

a Senate trial with no sentence—
we don't believe in repentance
defendant is quite happily in denial
or maybe that's his guile
this is a Senate trial

a Senate trial with no ending
the solons' fear is heart-rending
they seem to think the Emperor is bionic
too bad the rules forbid them a gin and tonic

a Senate trial with no moral
I'd better stop or we'll quarrel
I'm turning off the radio for a while
it's filling me with bile
this is a Senate trial

He wasn't really voting to block witnesses at all! It was the Democrats who had done it! Senator Graham was merely um doing um something else.

Then he enjoyed a refreshing sleep and a nourishing breakfast and toddled over to the Senate where he voted to block witnesses.

— Good With Rockets (@Yastreblyansky) January 31, 2020

One Loopy Piehole; and Prolegomena to a Discussion of Russia Sanctions

To the tune of a song by Hoagy Carmichael and Frank Loesser:


One Loopy Piehole

here we are
out of Adderall
are there drugstores open?
can't somebody call?
one loopy piehole
that whines on and on
and waits for the copter
on the lawn

here we are
wasted all the time
if he won't shut up he'll be
confessing to a crime
one loopy piehole
with nothing to say
how long before he
goes away?

do you remember the way we fought
throughout the whole campaign?
Russia didn't help me at all
do you remember the way I won
thanks to my big big brain?
there isn't time to stall
we have to build that wall

and here we are
hectoring the press
free associating
what a freaking mess
one loopy piehole
that whines on and on
waiting for the copter
on the lawn

Photo by Evan Vucci, via IowaPoliticsNow.