There once was a pisher

Photo via The Independent.

I seem to have been the only participant in this contest:

That's not a challenge. Make it so they can't use the word "fucker" and you have yourself a chore.

— Dale Burden (@CthulhuHulu) April 9, 2020

But what the heck, I feel good about it.

A snide young imperialist, Tucker,
Had manners that hardly were pukka;
His own polo pony
Despised him as phony
And threw him in less than a chukka.

— Leaves of Yas (@Yastreblyansky) April 10, 2020

And the third one feels like a real poem, which doesn't mean I don't hope it's funny, but that it really does say something about Tucker that couldn't be said so easily in normal commentary, and obeys the laws of the form while subverting their function. and all the words, even the Yiddish ones, seem to have more than one reason for being there.

There once was a pisher called Tucker
Whose lips formed a permanent pucker.
Was he really farklemt
By compulsive contempt?
Or just an inveterate sucker?

— Leaves of Yas (@Yastreblyansky) April 10, 2020