If the Creek Do Rise, What Else Will? Protect Yourself!

 

Lindsay Graham, in his hypothetical, is fully armed, watching all his neighbors get killed by a gang. https://t.co/vlbEWUn0Gt

— A.R. (Ancient Router) Moxon (@JuliusGoat) March 28, 2021

Central, South Carolina (pop. ca. 5,385), home of Senator Lindsey Woolsey Graham, isn't in central South Carolina, but up in Pickens County in the state's far northwest, and not exactly in a hurricane zone, or prone to earthquakes or volcanoes

Pickens County, SC, via Wikipedia.

but that doesn't mean it's without its perils, as people learned last year in nearby Easley, and and all along the Calhoun Memorial Highway (Route 93) pretty much every year, when the spring rains come and the creeks rise.

Yes, floods, and the very real threat of county officials charging homeowners a Storm Water Utility Fee for pumping the water out of your yard and hauling it away. And it could be worse, as in the scenario haunting Senator Graham's nightmares: some of those Natural Disaster Gangs could be taking advantage of the chaos to come right up to your house, maybe in rafts or thigh-high waders where the cops in their clumsy vehicles are unable to follow, and break in to steal stuff, ready for rape and pillage.

Because, as throughout America, it's becoming a more dangerous place—Central itself had 137 crimes in 2019, of which 126 were theft cases, down from 140 in 2018, but up from 124 as recently as 2006—perhaps because of increasing immigration from places with less firmly rooted cultures, states like Georgia and North Carolina and even faraway Texas and Florida. For instance, nearly 60% of the population had no religious affiliation in the 2010 census, up from 40% in 2000.

And the town is home to two registered sex offenders. Clearly it's time to reckon with the possibility that Central may have been invaded by liberals, or even liberal progressives, as retired county council member Tom Ponder has lamented, even though they may successfully pretend that they aren't:

He said the first eight years were good ones, with the council making a lot of tough decisions and refusing to raise taxes after the school board enacted a large millage increase to pay for an extensive building program a decade ago....

“I just got tired of the politics,” said Ponder, who went on to blame "liberal progressives" who “pose as conservative Republicans and claim to be concerned about the taxpayers, but they are really concerned about their own special interests.”

Not to mention that many of the immigrants are likely among Central's 500 Hispanic residents, including foreign-born ones from countries like the ones in Central America we keep hearing about—almost 12% of South Carolina's foreign-born residents, or slightly over 35% if you count Mexico, come from the nations of that unhappy isthmus:

And these people, as you know, are natural gangsters. Pickens County is alive to the danger, in spite of the liberal progressives who made Councilor Ponder's life so stressful—it was the first county in the United States (and possibly the only one) to stand up in support of Orange County, CA, in its struggle against "Sanctuary Cities"—but there's only so much they can do against this onslaught of criminality.

Which is why it's so important for Senator Graham to own an assault rifle. I mean, chances are he won't be in Central when the Flood Gang Emergency arrives; he'll probably be in Washington pontificating on Fox News, or Palm Beach fawning on the Former Guy, or even prowling the Rio Grande for terrorist migrants on a patrol boat with a heavily armed Senator Cruz protecting his fellow solons.

Photo by Getty Images, via The Independent, where it is captioned "Republicans said they were shocked by what they saw".

But those potential Central attackers will know the gun is there in Graham's house—at least they will if they watch Fox News regularly, which they probably should if they want to know which Republican Senators have a house it's safe to break in to—and that should be enough to make them think twice before committing their dastardly deeds.

Update: Steve M insists on telling you what Graham is really talking about.