Thursday, April 1, 2021



Statement by Donald J. Trump, 45th President of the United States of America


I'm bored. There is nothing good on T.V. other than this young woman called Lara Trump who claims to be related to me.and says Latinos instead of Hispanics. Is she really related to me? Is she running for office? Is she running against Nikki Haley? She is hotter than Nikki Haley in my opinion, but I don't know if she can be trusted.

Also creepy Joe Scarborough who used to beg me to go on his show now spends his time insulting one of our finest and most patriotic Congressmen, Matt Gaetz. If he thinks this will get him good ratings he is wrong. Everybody is switching the channel, looking for items about me, your favorite President. Now everybody is talking about Infrastructure, but they don't even remember that I  was the one who came up with infrastructure in the first place. 

This is probably because the Woke Mob has silenced me. Along with so many others. There is so much Woke pouring into our country it's like another China Virus. It has to stop!

Gaetz Gate, as many people have called it, is a hoax. You know who the real sex trafficker is? You probably think I'm going to say Hunter Biden. But no, it's Mitt Romney. It's a fact! His family went to Mexico with their child brides. They were doing this for years! Afterwards he came to beg me to make him secretary of state. I made him eat the frogs legs and laughed in his face. This is why he tried to "impeach" me. It was his jealousy when I gave Pompeo the job instead.

As for Infrastructure, do you really think Sleepy Joe Biden is going to give you Infrastructure? He couldn't even win an Election without my help. I was going for the popular vote this time, instead of the electoral College, which is easier to win, so I let him have Wisconsin and focused on Georgia and Arizona. Then Fox called Arizona for Biden. Suspicious, right? I couldn't believe my eyes when they did that.

And why aren't more people talking about those dogs? It's a disgrace what's happening to the White House or to be honest I call it the Shite House because those dogs are treating it like their personal Rest Room. 

Anyway when I'm back in the White House I'll give you Infrastructure like nobody's ever seen before. Much better than Biden's. I will have his infrastructure all ripped out and replace it with the good stuff. Marble, with those pink veins in it. And maybe Matt Gaetz, one of our finest and most patriotic young Congressmen, will be the Vice President, because who knows? I haven't picked anybody yet. I don't even know if I'm going to run, frankly. I'm very busy going to weddings and playing golf and issuing statements. I just wish you'd give me a call once in a while. It wouldn't kill you to call.

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