Cheap shots: Huckabee

Huckabee:

"This is not just a political issue. It is a biblical issue. And as a biblical issue, unless I get a new version of the scriptures, it’s really not my place to say, ‘Okay, I’m just going to evolve.’ It’s like asking somebody who’s Jewish to start serving bacon-wrapped-shrimp in their deli," he said. "We’re so sensitive to make sure we don’t offend certain religions, but then we act like Christians can’t have the convictions that they’ve had for over 2,000 years."

I know, I know, fuck Huckabee. I guess one would have to in order to make his analogy there work, assuming the deli owner was a strictly observant Jew; the only way to put Huckabee in a similar position with regard to gay marriage would to marry him off to some masterful dude and pop his tiny rectum, which I don't believe any supporters of marriage equality really want to do.

Or to work the analogy from the other end, as it were, it's like asking an observant Jewish deli owner in Montana to allow any restaurant in the state to serve shrimp if it wants to, which is I believe how the law currently runs and is OK with every single Jewish deli owner in the United States, including those (a vast majority) that do not keep kosher and happily serve Reuben sandwiches (corned beef and Swiss in violation of Deuteronomy 14:21 and other passages) or shrimp or whatever themselves, or permit adulterous assignations at their tables. Because Jewish deli owners are not in fact afraid that the existence of restaurants serving shrimp will destroy their lives.

Or maybe it's like asking Tehran coffee shop owners to put up with a saloon next door. Alcohol is illegal in Iran, just like same-sex marriage is (pending appeal of a decision legalizing it) in Arkansas, so all the drinking has to go on underground, like all that Arkansas buttsex. I imagine the Tehran coffee shop owner would say over his dead body—unless he was allowed to serve alcohol too. He'd be worried about the saloon taking business away. Is Huckabee concerned that permitting state-sanctioned buttsex next door is going to take away something profitable from his own household? And if so, I'd certainly be interested in knowing what.

Also, the ayatollahs aren't going to tell you they have to ban alcohol to protect religious freedom, which they admit pretty frankly is not a big priority for them. Add them to the very long list of people who are smarter, less hypocritical, or both, than Mike Huckabee, because he doesn't give a Huckabee fuck about religious freedom either, but he still won't shut up about it.

That was one drunk or incredibly sarcastic headline writer. The story is about his visit to Auschwitz in November and does not feature any uprisings or retaliation whatever. "This is not to say Governor Huckabee didn’t give us hope. He continued by sharing with the assembled leaders a story about visiting with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu... According to [American Renewal Project's David] Lane, the purpose of the trip is 'to encourage these leaders to achieve extraordinary feats.' He has even named the trip, 'The Journey: A Spiritual Awakening.' Lane has called for a grassroots movement of 1,000 pastors to run for political office in the upcoming 2016 elections." Oh wait, does that sound like an uprising of some kind? But Huck isn't retaliating against it...