The opposite of Obamacare

Looks like this Thanksgiving the obnoxious Uncle Louie ranting about how the country has been going downhill ever since the Jews and the coloreds got rid of the gold standard is threatened by a new phenomenon, your smartass nephews on the bandwagon as Novice Navigators and trying to sign the whole family up for Obamacare, and it's got the Heritage Foundation all worked up:

Facts for your #Thanksgiving dinner & the conservative alternative to #Obamacare! http://t.co/UOwfCj37pM
— Heritage Foundation (@Heritage) November 26, 2013

Oboy oboy thanks, Heritage! I was getting really curious about that conservative alternative to #Obamacare. Let's see...

Organizing for America (OFA), President Obama’s campaign group, has a big push called “Health Care for the Holidays” that urges people to “have the talk” with their loved ones about getting health insurance. The Washington Post also published a “Guide to Surviving Obamacare Debates at Thanksgiving.”

Hm.

The OFA website features images of Christmas wreaths alongside pills, snowflakes beside a Band-Aid, and a doctor’s kit next to some turkey legs. Yep, these go together like…your health care and government control.

Whoa, that's such a witty put-down. Not sure what website they're talking about, though, no pills or turkey legs on the one they linked to.

Kliff sums it up pretty well when she writes, “This is probably the most obvious question to come up on Thursday: How busted is this law?”

It’s very, very busted. That’s why Congress should start over and implement health care reforms that are patient-centered and market-based—the opposite of Obamacare.

It's a turkey cozy! (Actually a Jive Turkey hat, via ApartmentTherapy).

Oh, here we go. What's the opposite of Obamacare? Links to the daily DeMintia from November 1:

We’ve been very critical of Obamacare because it’s hurting Americans. But that has caused some to ask, “What’s your alternative?”

Yes?

Our experts in the Center for Health Policy Studies have put together a new paper that explains how these conservative ideas work. It includes:

• How we will help people with pre-existing conditions
• How we will help you keep your health insurance when you change jobs
• How we can lower costs and improve health care quality—no matter what your income is
• How we can honor people’s faith and protect the right of conscience in health care

At last! This was starting to feel like negotiating your way around healthcare.gov. Links to the Halloween proposal for

patient-centered, market-based reforms based on five principles:

Choose, control, and carry your own health insurance;

Let free markets provide the insurance and health care services that people want;

Encourage employers to provide a portable health insurance benefit to employees;

Assist those who need help through civil society, the free market, and the states; and

Protect the right of conscience and unborn children.

So how do they deal with those pre-existing conditions in the Opposite of Obamacare? By denying the problem: It isn't really a problem, and it's being taken care of (ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my client was miles away at the time of the crime, and besides it was an accident):

Under prior law, individuals with employer-sponsored coverage (90 percent of the private market) could not be subjected to pre-existing condition exclusions.[14] In fact, prior to Obamacare, the number of individuals with pre-existing conditions who truly could not obtain health coverage was vastly smaller, and the problem existed only in the individual market. It is therefore not surprising that, according to the most recent data, only an estimated 134,708 individuals have enrolled in the supplemental federal high-risk pool program since it was created under Obamacare.... 35 states already operate high-risk pools with a collective current enrollment of 227,000 individuals to ensure access to coverage for individuals with pre-existing conditions.[17] Alternatively, states could establish reinsurance or risk transfer mechanisms under which insurance companies would reimburse each other for the cost of treating individuals...

Helping you keep your insurance when you change jobs? By asserting that you should be able to do so:

Rather than following Obamacare’s example of forcing Americans into government-run health insurance exchanges, true patient-centered reform of health care would make insurance more portable. Individuals should be able to purchase an insurance policy when they are young and carry that policy with them throughout their working lives into retirement.

Lowering costs and improving care? That would be done by magic, otherwise known as somebody else's problem—"civil society, the free market, and the states":

By serving as the “laboratories of democracy,” states can provide examples for other states—and the federal government—to follow. Because many state-based reforms do not rely on Washington’s involvement or approval, states can move ahead with innovative market-based solutions even as federal bureaucrats attempt to implement Obamacare’s government-centric approach.... While it may take some time before a critical mass of states creates a true interstate market for insurance,... nascent efforts [in Georgia, Maine, and Wyoming] demonstrate the nationwide interest in expanding health insurance choice and competition.

And you know what else demonstrates the nationwide interest in expanding health insurance choice and competition? The Affordable Care Act passed going on four years ago and currently being implemented without much help from those innovative laboratories of democracy, unless you count innovative Vermont.

And protecting the right of conscience and unborn children? That would be my favorite, making sure employers can impose their religious beliefs on employees through more government regulation:

Congress should protect the rights of consumers, insurers, employers, and medical personnel to refrain from facilitating, participating in, funding, or providing services contrary to their consciences or the tenets of their religious faith.

Big Apple Bog. Cranberries in Rockefeller Plaza, October 2010, via.

So now you know what to do with Mr. Eager Beaver and his lower-your-premiums government-run disaster round the groaning board this Thanksgiving. Repeal. And rephrase. And get stuffed. And for those wondering how Heritage got to be this stupid: brilliant article by Julia Ioffe.