Friday, August 10, 2012

Cheap shots 8/10

Lindsey Graham:
“And I just can’t let that pass. I just cannot believe that the majority leader of the United States Senate would take the floor twice, make accusations that are absolutely unfounded in my view, and quite frankly making things up to divert the campaign away from the real issues.”
I can't believe it either! There must be some logical explanation, some—flaw—in the way we're perceiving it, like—I don't know—if he weren't making things up? Or if these were the real issues?
Ice cream taco. From Tried and True Recipes.
"Oh, thank you, Little Father, for saving us from Pussy Riot!"
So what exactly didn't Putin like about it?
(a) The pony tail—never let a man with a pony tail kiss you.
(b) He's afraid his hand is going to get all garlicky now.
(c) The priest is actually his embarrassing derelict dad.
(d) Nobody's supposed to know he's Tsar until after the presidential term ends.

Who says the kid is shallow?
He's doing his homework, and he's not afraid to ask the tough questions. But Luke, Luke, if you let everybody see what you've got they're going to scoop you!

Photo from Coloribus Advertising Archive.

The Times of Israel noted progress within the Haredi community: Instead of being forced to throw rocks at immodestly dressed women, ultra-Orthodox men can now take responsibility for their own irrepressible lusts by buying special blurring stickers to fix on the lenses of their glasses, making the women that wander into their field of vision indistinguishable from one another.
Determined to provide a solution for everyone, the committee also offers non-prescription glasses at NIS 130 ($32.50). Those who are blessed with good vision and don’t require corrective glasses can buy a pair and then apply the stickers to the lenses, reducing their vision to a safe blur.
The organization also offers head scarfs that extend over the eyes for added protection against concupiscence.
Rommey's new strategy:
The Romney campaign got the Times to run a story about how nice the candidate is; years ago he was trying to sell a bunch of houses he'd picked up cheap and the couple who was renting one of them couldn't find a mortgage they could afford. So he loaned them the money himself. Fifteen years later he's still collecting that $600 a month. Does this mean if he gets elected he'll do that for everybody, making himself big enough that he can drown government single-handedly?

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