Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Lines for music

Image via History Hoydens.
Obamacare Song
Oh I love my health insurance:
   it allows me to ensure
that I get my tax deduction
   without sharing with the poor.

Does the Red Cross take your money,
   or the Care, or ADL?
I just send mine to the Blue Cross
   for I know they'll spend it well.

"If you like it you can keep it"—
   that's the President's refrain,
but he doesn't seem to get it
   how a man can like his pain.
Human progress is a con game;
   life is meant to be unfair;
hope and change are for the suckers,
   give me middle-class despair.

Oh I drink my beer with water,
  in the spirit of the age;
you can have your black and tan but
   I prefer my tan and beige.

Though the ale's less alcoholic
  and the stout is not so stout
it preserves the landlord's profit
  and he doesn't throw me out.

But the busy regulator
   in the barstool next to mine
clucks his tongue in disapproval
   as he sips his Napa wine;

"Danny there should be arrested
   selling horse's piss for beer."
"If I like it I can keep it,
   who are you to interfere?"

And then when I sigh my last and shake
   away this mortal frame,
and I see the Great Adjustor
   sitting there to hear my claim,

he will tote up my deductibles
   and calculate my sins,
and estimate my damages
   in weres and might-have-beens,

"And did you pay your premium
   the day that it came due?"
I will tell that Great Adjustor
   that the Cross I bore was Blue.

"If you like it you can keep it"—
   that's the President's refrain,
but he doesn't seem to get it
   how a man can like his pain.
Human progress is a con game;
   life is meant to be unfair;
hope and change are for the suckers,
   give me middle-class despair.

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